This year, at the very start of my 26th, I couldn't take a day off to celebrate & reflect on my birthday. I was working in the hospital for a continuous 36 hrs and I just went home & slept right away til the next day, to wake up and repeat the cycle of "working" again and again. Luckily, I had this Friday as a day off. I've an important exam coming up this week, and I know everyone has their own priorities. And I always choose not to lose myself. Time passes so damn fast. Cherish every moment you have with your loved ones, cuz you might not have that privilege again. Contact friends. Go out. Forgive their mistakes as much as you can. Await the chance to meet them. Having a work-life balance is quite challenging. But I promise myself I won't stop trying.
To silence it I need to get it out. It's so unfair when you put so much effort in something just to help, selflessly with no other intentions and suddenly it becomes someone else's credit. Because you're not allowed to be the face of that, being an ordinary average individual. What hurt most is that no one cared, no one noticed. (Except for one). That felt so bad. It still does.
"I got the very two characters that I believe shall not be combined together in one person, otherwise they would be paralyzed " said poor me, talking to myself. I get so easily attached, never let go. And in the same time, I can not endure stagnation, incompletely settled issues & being unproductive. Whenever a friend leaves, whether silently or vocally, I get stoned . I can't let go and I can't move on. October , and I, are naturally romantic , and the aesthetic cold breeze is giving me the chills mixed up with some really hard times. May Allah ease my heart and grant me peace.
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